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Andy Wainwright biog
Some interestings stuff about Andy Pop
Andy was born sometime in the early 70's (in many ways he's still stuck there) in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, England. Had a
nice childhood with loads of friends and hobbies- sailing, horseriding, R/C car racing and Sinclair Computers (perhaps the
ultimate in 80s naff) He got into music in 1989 with school pals Mark and Carl, forming "the rock and roll dogturds",
sort of dead or alive meets kevin bloody wilson, singing and writing "playground" songs about pornos and motorbikes.
Unable (then) to play any proper instrument then he descovered the drum machine and atari st, and realised that talent can
sometimes replace technology. Musical influences include anything comic, punk rock and girl groups. Scraped into Sheffield
University to study software engineering (but too crap at maths, so spent three years in a drugged and drunken stuper, meeting
guitarist Tim Muckle and forming naff Carter USM rip off Doss (the name is a parody of 80's boyband bros) and having a go
at singing. After that ended he teamed up with local musicians Kevin Scott and Dave Nevard to form Love Asylum. Between gigs
Andy and Dave were prone to necking vodka and lusting over comedy gospel outfit Eternal, for who they wrote a couple of songs.They
approached Stephen Branch aka "twiggy" to engineer their album. After the band folded, Andy joined "Gutt"
with twiggy, Sean Roff and Phil Lines and recorded a couple of alums. Sean was replaced by Steve Kemp, who later sacked Andy
and Twiggy and renamed the band Dog Salad. Sometime around this era Andy was admitted to rehab to recover from methamphetamime
induced pyschosis. Andy, Dave and Twiggy, plus Tammy Hales went on top form studio band Nudge, recording the album "a
bunch of number ones and number twos". Out of this grew (the then) punk band Stellar Art Wars (with neville dean) and
later the "serious" band Gravytrain (with whom andy was an occasional player) as well as soundman. During this time
Andy collaberated with Aussie songwriter Paul Wilson, producing the track "once bitten twice shy" At this stage
it was back into rehab again following excessive mdma and skunk (we're talking real heroic doses here) misuse. Since then
andy has unfortunately declined into something of a syd barrett character (real mind mince man....), recording the solo album
The Surviving Beatles- Words And Music By McCarney and Lennon (deceased) in which he tried to excorcise his david-icke-esque
mentalist conspiricies.
Nowdays, the mighty stellar art wars are back as a folk rock covers band, who are a real great fun to watch while necking
for or five pints of stella artois (the name is derived from this and also the other "SAW" of whom andy is somewhat
of an obsessed fan . People often ask "why..." well there's a point I'm trying to prove- that you can go so bad
that you start to to become good again.
As well as music, and has worked in IT support, web design and political journalism (god save the queen, this fascist
regime.....)
Andy spends most of the time now chilling out with partner Katy, with whom andy has recorded several tracks with.
Coming Soon. Andy's New Album " Baby P " which is loosely and vaguely themed around
the happy chirpy subject of child abuse...
God Made Animals
Great And Small
Some That Slither
And Some That Crawl
And Social Services Employ Them All
This album is a tribute to the victims of the SS. No pun intended whatsoever.
Forget psychedelic, this is psychotic pop at its f**king best. If you don’t like this album
we recommend that you take more drugs till you do. Sleep depravation helps a bit too.
Once again the “bunch of spastics from Peckham” return with some ludicrous yet infectiously
catchy music, libelous opinionated gossip and exceptionally poor taste. Some alternative mixes of previous music are included
on this album.
Written, produced and performed by Andy Wainwright. Additional production and remix by Twiggy. Musicians:
Andy, Twiggy, Nev, Stuart Mallinson, Tammy Hales, Katy Morton
Assisted Suicide Bomber
Went to my doctor
with a pain in my head
said I had a tumour
and that I’d soon be dead
well I just shrugged my shoulders
cos I didn’t give a shit
I said “cut the crap and give me
A diamorphine hit”
So I met a girl who sang the blues
Who’s now reduced to sniffing glues
Done so much crack she can hardly sing
And reckons Daddy was The King.
cos we’re stuck in Big Brother’s House
We smuggled in some Famous Grouse
I’ve got no dollars, not a dime
And now it’s medication time
So as I sit and smoke my bong
I sing this resignation song
Guess I ain’t happy and nor are you
Cos all my fucking dreams came true
I’d be the bootleg Mark Chapman
But I can’t even fire a cap gun
Should I take this axe and kill kill kill
Test the existence of free will
Cos they built this wall
Around the school
To protect
The Kids both big and small
But this idea was pretty rank
‘cos Thomas Hamilton didn’t have a fucking tank
Let’s faces the thoughts been in our heads
Of shooting little toddlers dead
Of genocide and incest too
Whist loaded up on special brew
We’ve all got our sour grapes
Dirty secrets, child rapes
And if you think this taste is poor
You tory c**ts believe in war
What if Madeline McCann
Came from Iraq or from Iran
No column inches and no fame
But like Shylock, she bleed the same
London, new york , gaza
strip
Moneys kind and people shit
Now as I’m sitting in this ward
No OBE or grammy award
In very frail mental health
Haloperidol’s made me piss myself
And just for a second I could actually see
There’s a lot more that a little bit of Elvis in me
Some people say you shouldn’t do drugs
But you’re saying it too late
Some of its genetics
And the rest of it is fate
Well rock is a religion
A journey through the soul
Where Tammi turns to Shirley, and Shirley to Nicole
The faces change
But not the guilt
Of decadence
Integrity spilt
Indulgences of rock and roll
The highest priest has sold his soul
Mushrooms pills and LSD
A growing web of conspiracy
I’m paranoid and way to go
I’m on the fucking Truman show
Delusions of grandeur
Illusion of life
Cutting your wrists up
With a kitchen knife
Remind yourself it’s just a ride
And no-one has ever really died
The Assisted Sucide Bomber
The martyr for the thick
God gave me everything that I want (and I really really want)
And I wanted to be a prick.
Sorted for E's and whizz? The ultimate speedfreak conspiracy.....
If there's only one speed freak conspiracy to know, KNOW THIS ONE. Put on an album from 1968 - 1978 - 1988 - 2008. Can
you see whats's happening to music? I'm not sure that I like it myself.....
http://en.wikipedia .org/wiki/ Methamphetamine
Greetings IPCUSA
Methamphetamine, was one of a number experimental drugs invented by the nazis in the times of
Adolf Hitler. It was heavily used by the nazis, and contributed greatly to intial nazi victories. And later to nazi defeats
such as at Stalingrad, as the negative effects of the drug began to be felt more with time (psychosis, poor judgement, wasting
of the flesh, hallucinations etc.).
At the end of World War II, both the Soviets and Americans
imported large
numbers of nazis they thought would be useful to them. Some of these nazis were war criminals who were given new identities
and protected from prosecution as war criminals. Many were methamphetamine addicts, social engineers, chemists, nazi revivalists
etc. Hitler was given methamphetamine injections by his doctor to combat fatigue. This may have been the cause of his
poor judgement and highly antisocial behaviour in his later years. Staying awake more than four days causes brain damage,
as does methamphetamine itself.
The nazis began as an openly homosexual movement, their leaders all openly masculine
homosexual with the exception of Adolf Hitler.
Later the nazi party reversed itself and became anti homosexual, and
SA leadership was summarily executed, along with their passive bed partner youths, and replaced in power by the SS.
The
SS, among methamphetamine addicts, was the ultimate source of most nazi great crimes against humanity. Men who were
heterosexual, impotent due to the effects of methamphetamine, or secretly (closeted) bisexual or homosexual. The death camps
were run by methamphetamine addicts, for the most part. Society at war with itself, history tends to repeat itself.
Once
in America, nazi methamphetamine addicts soon found
powerful allies in men of similar bent to them. Such as the closeted
homosexual J Edgar Hoover, who like the nazis hated the Soviets. They also founhd allies in the US army, who they rocketed
to power in peace time after the war. "Undesirable" types were purged or languished without promotion in the US army, such
as the great War hero of the Philipine resistance Colonel Fertig and many of the
American heros of the resistance to the
Japanese in China,such as many in the Flying Tigers.
Closeted homosexuals in US police national security and
military
circles formed secret alliances, promoting their sex partners over those more deserving of promotion, and passing over or
persecuting men of greater valor and / or merit, men not privy or a part of their anti American and anticommunist conspiracies.
Their model and teachers, their nazi "slaves" wjho were poorly supervised and mostly left to run amok without restraint on
the American people and people of the World. That is, their model was methamphetamine addicted paranoid delusional former
SS officers and their lackeys.
The Western allies of these methamphetamine using nazis or
former nazis soon became
powerful enough to unilaterally start the Cold War against the Soviets, especially Winston Churchhill, who suffered from paranoid
delusions throughout his life (only when you are right it is not paranoia). They soon smashed all viable resistance to their
control of many Western societies, using SS tactics. But they lacked the total power in Western societies that the SS had
before in German society, so they had to be more discreet and subtle in their attacks. Such as the use of mind control and
remote torture weapons.
These same nazis and their allies, were responsible for or
behind the great crimes
against humanity in Western Nations of the 1950's and 1960's such as the army radiation experiments (which were more
diverse than has been admitted to or that compensation is being paid to survivors for). And the root of modern high technology
human rights abuse lays at these mens feet for the entire "Free World". The
PRC and Soviet high technology human rights
abuse programs largely followed the lead of the programs in the West.
In the 1960's, the US military industrial complex
and their nazi and native fascist allies became increasingly alarmed by the hippy movement. A primarily passive nonviolent
movement which they found it very difficult to purge from society. A movement which made it increasingly difficult for these
unelected elites to exercise their powers, such as waging illegal wars which a majority of the American
people did not
want. A movement which threatened their vast profits made from keeping America on a war stance in peace time, for the first
time in American history. A movement which threatened their virtually full control of American society and American propaganda,
power gained by the use of nazi methods inspired largely by the theories of Dr. Ludwick Fleck published in German in 1932
but known
to the nazis before then, a jewish nazi slave scientist for the duration of the war, who invented for the nazis
the typhus vaccine as well as other still largely secret work he did for them.
Feeling threatened by the hippy movement,
a conspiracy of unelected US police military and national security community officials and their supporters, began to plan
and wage covert wars against the hippy movement. That is, they began to plan and wage unprovoked covert wars, including torture
murder and chemical warfare, against a popular "party" in America, the hippy movement. And they founded domestic neonazi terrosit
groups who spearheaded the
manufacture and distribution of methamphetamine in America, and who were involved in gang rape,
white slavery, extortion and violence / murder for hire.
It was decided to wage chemical warfare against the hippy
movement. Adultered or more dangerous allotropic forms of LSD and other drugs were marketed to the hippies, the proceeds
funding
various covert activities. The "bad trip" was in fact as many hippies claimed, the work of "the Company". By 1980,
the NSA and their CIA allies were the largest cocaine suppliers in Western America (as CIA pilots testified to US Congress
that they flew plane loads of cociane into the US without fear of interdiction, military or police).
Nazi consultants
advised that if large amounts of speed could be marketed to the hippies, the movement would become violent and factionalised.
That the peace movement could be murdered in America by such a chemical war. By then, the nazis were themselves well aware
of the horrors of methamphetamine. But why not, they hated Americans
almost as much as they hated the Soviets. And a more
violent and troubled America, would be more likely to wage hot war on the Soviet Union.
The hippy movement in fact
had some awareness that theywere the victims of chemical warfare. There was some attempt at defense, such as the "Speed Kills"
campaigns. Just as Los Angeles blacks in the 1980's had some awareness that they were being subjected to chemical warfare
by the crack epidemic. In the 1980's I spoke with many black gangsters selling cocaine/ crack in Los Angeles, they were
universally
aware the main source of their product was "the company" or the CIA and allies such as the NSC. These blacks also were the
first people I ever met in America who gave detailed accounts of high technology human rights abuses, conducted mostly it
seemed to control them and their leaders, even to divide them and keep them divided,
killing and fighting eachother.
As
with the covert war against the Soviets and certain
democratically elected governments, criminal organisations were created
from scratch by the CIA and NSA. Proceeds from illegal drug sales and black ops were used to fund the creation of such societies,
whereas with the CIA creation of al Qaeda, Saudi money was the primary source of funding.
Initially groups founded
for the covert war on the hippy
movement, including the chemical war, enjoyed special protection from prosecution by law
enforcement agencies. Including closeted homosexuals still prevalent in the FBI placed there by J Edgar Hoover. Often these
FBI agents had secret homosexual relationships with nazis and neo nazi mercenary groups such as "outlaw" motorcycle
gangs
distributing methamphetamine, often by force, to the hippy movement. Many "hippy chicks" were entered into white slavery by
these gangs as methamphetamine addicts, and forced into prostitution.
By the mid 1980's, this conspiracy of unelected
US officials and their nazi allies, came to see the neonazi movements they themselves had founded as a threat. So skinheads
and outlaw bikers were arrested in mass and incarcerated. Police patriots were no longer obstructed
in their efforts against
such criminal fraternities. As is so often the case among NWO order factions, the children are eventually attacked by their
parent groups, or attack their parent groups.
Examine the history of the methamphetamine epidemic in America. It began
in California, the greatest stronghold of the hippy movement. It began among neonazi groups which seemed to arise from nowhere.
Not only did they learn how to cook meth from nazis, they learned their politics from nazis. In other nations, effective measures
were taken, and there was no methamphetamine epidemic on the order as seen in the US. In the US, the fire was started, and
burned
so hot, even those internal and external enemies of state who started the fire, could not effectively put it out.
The epidemic has yet to peak in the North East of America.
America has lost more treasure, been divided more, felt
more pain, suffered more death, from the methamphetamine epidemic, than from all anti American muslim groups combined. In
a period when we should be seeing dramatic declines in crime in all of history. The methamphetamine chemical war on the American
people, the crack chemical war on the American people (this war to target blacks), have
caused crime and criminal social
orders to flourish in America.
The "war on drugs" is a farce. It is largely being conducted by the American and British
governmental drug cartels. It is not intended to wipe out drugs, it is intended to keep illegal drug prices high, and to fight
rival drug cartels.
American patriots should understand what the important fights
are today. Yes, we are threatened
by external enemies of state such a al Qaeda. But as the founding fathers warned us would happen, our greatest enemies are
internal enemies of state.
The drug epidemics have caused America more financial loss pain and death than all foreign
enemies combined since World War II, if one does not count the wars of unprovoked aggression on other nations by America.
The hippy movement, with its increasingly lax attitude about recreational drug use, was a great contributor to the drug epidemics
in America. However, the hippy movement did not promote drug use maliciously, in order to intentional attack and injure rival
factions of American society.
The men who intentionally engineered drug epidemics in America, have been greatly enriched
and empowered by their criminal activities, as traitors and external enemies of state. So much so, that democracy and liberty
itself in America, has come into doubt.
It is not American to make unprovoked covert wars on your own people or on
foreign peoples, such as upon the two greatest allies of
America in World War II. It is not American to torture, to engage
in drug trafficking, to found malicious neo nazi groups to terrorise and poison American society, or to support groups which
engage in slavery. These are not American ways, they are the ways of internal
enemies of state, which in their great wisdom
and foresight, our American founding fathers warned us would come to exist, and to threaten our liberty and democracy herself.
Best
Alan
Van Arsdale
__._,_.___
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Andy presents some of the silliest ard darkest stuff from the internet (including some of
his own creations)
Andy Sings "Colonel Bogey"
From The Times
July 12, 2007
Bombs, guns, gangs – now Basra falls prey to the monster badger
British forces in Basra, blamed for a host of ills from militia turf wars to rising Iranian influence, are being held responsible
for the latest danger to strike the city – a plague of giant man-eating badgers.
For weeks, the southern Iraqi city has been abuzz with talk of a bear-like monster stalking the suburbs and attacking livestock
and humans alike. The appearance of the beasts close to the British military base at the airport has sparked rumours that
soldiers released them to terrify the populace.
British officials were at a loss to explain the phenomenon until a local farmer caught and killed several of the animals,
subsequently identified as honey badgers, a large, sharp-clawed mammal renowned as the world’s most fearless creature.
The badgers, also know as ratels, weigh up to 14 kg (30lb) and are indigenous to Africa and the Middle East. Capable of
taking on a cobra, they are far more aggressive than their European counterparts, but not usually known to attack humans,
unless cornered or provoked.
The suggestion that British Forces are behind the Basra badger is only the latest bizarre misdeed attributed to them on
the local rumour mill. Other accusations include shelling civilians under the guise of local militias and slipping snakes
into waterways.
“We have not released giant badgers in Basra, and nor have we been collecting eggs and releasing serpents into the
Shatt al-Arab river,” said Major David Gell, the British Army spokesman in Basra.
Mushtaq Abdul-Mahdi, the director of Basra’s veterinary hospital, who inspected the corpses of several badgers, said
they had long predated the arrival of foreign troops. Older Baswaris called the beast “the Garta” and scared naughty
children with tales of the creature to get them to behave.
“Talk that this animal was brought by the British forces is incorrect and unscientific,” Mr Abdul-Mahdi said.
Scientists have speculated that the badgers’ numbers are on the increase because of efforts to reflood the marshlands
north of Basra that Saddam Hussen had drained to quell an insurgency among Shia Marsh Arabs.
But neither scientific explanations nor military denials have done much to calm the fears of the populace, some of whom
have now organised night patrols to keep the terrifying creatures at bay. “I was sleeping at night when this strange
animal hit me on my head,” said Suad Hassan, 30. “I have not seen such an animal before. My husband hurried to
shoot it but it was as swift as a deer. It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey. It runs so quickly.”
Mobile phone video footage of a dead badger, posted on YouTube, shows a skunk-like creature with long sharp claws. Fearsome
as it may look, experts say the carnage credited to it stretches credibility.
Sattar Jabbar, a 50-year-old farmer, claimed to have seen the badger tackling prey many times its own size. “I saw
it three days ago at night attacking animals. It even ate a cow. It tore the cow up piece by piece,” he said. “I
tried to shoot it with my gun but it ran away into the orchards. I missed it,” he said.
Major Gell said that Basrawis should have little to fear from the beast, but urged them to keep their distance nonetheless:
“If you cornered it and poked it with a stick, the smart money would be on the badger.”
Spot the difference
Honey Badger or Ratel ( Mellivora capensis)
— Adult male about 100cm (39ins) long including tail and weighs about 9.5kg (20lbs)
— Distributed across most of sub-Saharan and West Africa, Arabia, the Middle East and much of India
— Prey includes jackals, antelope and foxes, crocodiles and snakes
— Few predators. Lions and leopards occasionally kill them but usually keep their distance. African tribes report
attacks on humans when cornered
— Main weapon powerful jaws. Thick rubbery skin enables them to turn and attack even when gripped by the back of
the neck
Eurasian Badger ( Meles meles)
— Adult male badger usually about 90cm (35in long and weighs about 11.5kg (25lbs)
— Life expectancy is 15 years
— Found throughout Eurasia, from Britain to Japan, Norway to Southern China
— Principal diet is the earthworm
— Natural predators include wolves, lynx, wolverines and eagle owls
— First defence is usually flight to safety of sett
— If cornered often uses thick fur and skin as defence but may also fight back with powerful jaws
Source: www.badgers.org.uk
This a little bit about the happy camels project. I've already done some religious themed techno, Baby Jesus
to Buddha, so I thought I'd do an Eastern, Islamic oriented jungle number. This track features a selection of robots speaking
verses from the Holy Koran, with a robot camel adding some family fun for all.
Dance music and comedy can be a united force against racism and religious hatred! This track is not intended
to offend Muslims, it's intended to appeal to the kids, maybe even get some to look in to what Islam can offer.. This song
is not out to make a political statement...
Andy was entirely responsible for this track himself.
The Happy Camels
<
Hitler Has Only Got One Ball
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
This article may require cleanup to meet Wikipedia's quality standards.
Please improve this article if you can. (June 2007)
"Hitler has only got one ball" refers to the many variations on a set of lyrics to the popular "Colonel
Bogey March". These are four-line lyrics making fun of the Nazi leaders.
Contents
[hide]
* 1 Origin of the song
* 2 Song lyrics
o 2.1 Claimed original version, credited to Toby O'Brien
o 2.2 Variant stanzas about Nazis
o 2.3 Second verses: Hitler's mother
o 2.4 Verses about Germany and Germans
o 2.5 Introductory verse
* 3 The song in other media
* 4 Did Hitler really have only one testicle?
* 5 See also
* 6 References
* 7 External links
[edit] Origin of the song
In his autobiography Fringe Benefits, well-connected Anglo-Irish gadabout and publicist Donough O'Brien claims the original
was written by his father, Toby O'Brien, also a publicity agent, in August 1939 as British propaganda[1]. This purported original
version started with the words "Göring has only got one ball", and went on to imply that Hitler had two small ones.
In virtually all later versions, the positions are reversed. The statement that Himmler was "sim'lar" appears in
all versions. The final line of this original and some later forms ends with the clever word play that Goebbels had "no
balls". Both these variations argue strongly in favour of O'Brien's version being a very early version.
O'Brien's claims have not been substantiated, and no author has ever been identified for the more popular versions that
begin "Hitler has only got one ball". There is no known attempt by anyone to claim or enforce a copyright on the
lyrics. It is listed in the Roud Folk Song Index, number 10493.
[edit] Song lyrics
All versions are sung to the tune of The Colonel Bogey March:
* The Colonel Bogey March MIDI file
[edit] Claimed original version, credited to Toby O'Brien
Göring has only got one ball
Hitler's [are] so very small
Himmler's so very similar
And Goebbels has no balls at all
This purported original version is interesting in that Göring has the one ball and Hitler apparently has two and that
it starts with Göring. The musical comedy word play of rhyming Goebbels with "no balls" both argue in favour of
this being a very early version.
[edit] Variant stanzas about Nazis
Variant number 1 (The most common variant)
Hitler has only got one ball,
Göring has two but very small,
Himmler is somewhat sim'lar,
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.
(In line 3, "somewhat" was sometimes replaced by "rather". The first line may also be one left ball,
one brass ball, one big ball; approximately this version appears in Thomas Pynchon's V.. There is also an alternative to line
3: "Hess has even less,")
Variant number 2
Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is in the Albert Hall
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Cut it off when he was only small.
(Outside of the United Kingdom, the second line is oft invoked as "The other is on the kitchen wall" or "The
other is hanging on the wall". Some areas of the United Kingdom alter the second line to include local buildings. Mancunians
use "The other is in the Free Trade Hall")
Variant Number 3
Hitler has only got one ball,
Rommel has two but very small,
Himmler, has something similliar,
But Montgomery has no balls at all.
Other variations include use of the past tense, referring to Goebbels as Doctor, Hitler's other ball being "on the
wall", mixtures of the variants above, and Hitler's life being "much simpler if he didn't have any at all".
[edit] Second verses: Hitler's mother
When the first verse includes Hitler's mother, a second verse is generally added:
She threw it over Germany,
It landed in the deep blue sea,
The fishes got out their dishes,
And had scallops and bollocks for tea.
or
She threw it into a conker tree
It missed and went into to the sea
The fishes got out their dishes,
And had scallops and bollocks for tea.
[edit] Verses about Germany and Germans
These verses mention neither Nazis nor Hitler:
Frankfurt has only one beer hall,
Stuttgart, die München all on call,
Munich, vee lift our tunich,
To show vee "Cherman" have no balls at all.
Hans Otto is very short, not tall,
And blotto, for drinking Singhai and Skol.
A "Cherman", unlike Bruce Erwin,
Because Hans Otto has no balls at all.
[edit] Introductory verse
(Sung to the tune of Land of Hope and Glory, and followed by some variant of the Nazi verses, above.)
Land of soap and water,
Hitler's having a bath.
Churchill's looking through the keyhole,
Having a jolly good laugh
Be..e..e..e..cause...
Hitler — has only [etc]
[edit] The song in other media
This article needs additional citations for verification.
Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (August
2007)
The song has frequently been heard and seen in other media.
* The lyrics were not sung during the famous Colonel Bogey March sequence in the 1957 film The Bridge on the River
Kwai because they were considered too vulgar.
* The verse was obviously alluded to without actually using the words in episodes of It Ain't Half Hot Mum and Goodnight
Sweetheart. In the former, the Sergeant Major complained that the band at the last concert had played, he then hummed the
tune of Colonel Bogey, then he said "And we all know what the words to that are!". In an episode of the latter,
a German officer sings the German lyrics.
* Thomas Pynchon quoted the words in his novel V. by putting them in the mouths of British artillerymen on Malta.
* Bette Midler sang the lyrics in her concert film Divine Madness.
* The lyrics were heard on the British TV sitcom 'Allo 'Allo!
* The song is sung in the Czech film Dark Blue World (2001).
* The lyrics were sung in the 1972 film adaptation of the John Knowles novel A Separate Peace (although they are not
in the book, and the tune to which they are sung in the film is not the "Colonel Bogey March").
* A verse combining the first two lines of Variant 2 and the last two lines of Variant 1 appears in the 2000 Vertigo
miniseries Adventures in the Rifle Brigade by Garth Ennis and Carlos Ezquerra. The follow-on miniseries, Operation Bollock,
uses the missing testicle as a central plot device.
* The lyrics are alluded to in a 2003 advertisement for Spitfire Beer (the 'Bottle of Britain'), an English Ale. Hitler
is shown photographed in full Wehrmacht Uniform with the caption 'Spot the ball'. The advertisement refers to print media
spot the ball competitions in which readers were shown photographs of moments in football matches and asked to guess where
the ball (which is edited out) would have been. See: Spitfire site
* In one of the 'Head-to-Head' dialogue sketches in the BBC comedy series Alas Smith and Jones Mel Smith and Griff
Rhys Jones reminisce about the war and about the songs of the era. Smith sentimentally and poignantly sings the opening lines
of "White Cliffs of Dover", and "We'll Meet Again", and then (to avoid lowering the tone) has to interrupt
Jones when he begins to sing, "Hitler has only got one..."
* In an episode of the BBCTV comedy programme, 2 Point 4 Children the grandmother character (played by Barbara Lott)
mentions Goebbels in conversation with a friend and - when queried - points out that "he was the one with no balls at
all, if you remember".
* In the British radio series, The Bradshaws, Alf taught Billy the song.
* The Hector Scott character (played by Donald Moffat) sings this ditty to Shirley MacLaine's character in the movie
The Evening Star (1993).
* In the Camp Dance episode of 'Allo 'Allo! where Captain Geering is disguised as a British POW due to circumstances,
he starts singing the first verse upon inspection by German officers so as to seem genuinely British and avoid detection,
since he was illegally present in the POW camp.
* The main character of the 2003 movie Wondrous Oblivion, a British teen who is the son of Jewish Holocaust survivors,
sings this song for a friend.
* In Ricky Gervais' stand-up tour Fame, he speaks about the version of the song which refers to the Albert Hall. He
states that when he went to the Albert Hall he couldn't find it and he had even looked for it which is "suspicious".
Gervais continues stating that "if I had that, I'd have it in the foyer. On a plinth. In an eggcup". He ends it
by questioning why "His mother has got the other", which would mean Hitler had three.
[edit] Did Hitler really have only one testicle?
This article needs additional citations for verification.
Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (August
2007)
An alleged Soviet autopsy on Hitler's remains made shortly after the war claimed Hitler was monorchic, but most historians
dismiss this reference as propaganda. This autopsy was only released around 1970. However, records show that he was wounded
in 1916 during the Battle of the Somme, and some sources describe his injury as a wound to the groin. Hitler's World War I
company commander has said that a VD exam found that Hitler had only one testicle. Robert G.L. Waite in his book The Psychopathic
God: Adolf Hitler (1978) accepts the accuracy of this evidence:
Since the matter is of considerable importance to the psychological development of Hitler from infancy onward, let
us pause here and come to grips with the problem of the Fuehrer's testicles. It can now be affirmed that the British Tommies
were right all along in the first line of their version of the Colonel Bogey March, they were although manifestly mistaken
in the last—that is to say, unless Goebbels' six children were the progeny of adoption, paternal surrogacy or some
hitherto unconsidered, presumably unpalatable "Gott mit uns" form of divine intervention.
The autopsy performed by the Red Army pathologists on Hitler's body... [produced clear] findings:
The left testicle could not be found either in the scrotum or on the spermatic cord inside the inguinal canal,
or in the small pelvis...
There was some discussion of this issue for several weeks in the letters column of the New Statesman, a British magazine
in the early 1970s, although all correspondents accepted the Soviet autopsy as valid. One claimed that British intelligence
had discovered that Hitler was monorchic and written the song in an attempt to drive him even further round the bend than
he was already, with some elaborate theories about how they might have discovered this. Others thought that it was sheer coincidence,
and one even claimed that there had been a similar song sung about Napoleon (this may not be true). One pointed out that most
English speakers would not pronounce "Goebbels" correctly (an approximate rhyme with "gerbils"), they
would pronounce it "Goballs", which suggests "no balls" and the rest would follow. (This correspondence
came to a conclusion of sorts when one correspondent wrote a letter complaining about the conditions in which alleged illegal
immigrants were being detained, adding that this was a more important issue than Hitler's balls.)
Unfortunately, the Soviet autopsy of Hitler cannot be accepted as authoritative. Hitler's death by suicide and the subsequent
almost complete burning of his body would leave little for doctors to analyze — much less be able to focus on such
a small body part. The autopsy is discussed in Ron Rosenbaum's book Explaining Hitler: The Search for the Origins of His Evil
(1998). He concludes that it was fabricated, based on information from Hitler's doctor and recantations by the compilers of
the published form of the report.
The DVD version of the TV series The World At War has an interview with the Russian doctor Lt. Col. Sherovski (spelling
uncertain), who led the autopsy, who claims that they unexpectedly found one testicle missing. This interview would have been
conducted in the early 1970s. The programme presents dental evidence that an autopsy really was conducted, but also shows
that the findings may or may not have been distorted for political reasons. Furthermore, Sherovski specifically states Hitler
was not shot in the head, but it is now known that he was.
[edit] See also
* Discrediting tactics
* Nazi songs
* Propaganda
[edit] References
1. ^ http://www.fringe-benefits.co.uk/frinfacs.html
[edit] External links
* The Colonel Bogey March MIDI file
* Did Hitler have only one testicle? from The Straight Dope
* A British Soldier Remembers, songs and lyrics of World War II
* Weebls Stuff: On The Moon 2 Reference to Hitler's missing left testicle
[hide]
v • d • e
Adolf Hitler
Politics Political beliefs · Speeches · Mein Kampf · Zweites Buch · Last will and testament
Events Rise to power · Third Reich · Holocaust · World War II · Death
Personal life Family · Home · Medical health · Religious beliefs · Sexuality · Vegetarianism
Perceptions Books · In popular culture · Der Sieg des Glaubens · Triumph of the Will · The Empty Mirror · Hitler: The
Last Ten Days · Max · Hitler: The Rise of Evil · Der Untergang (Downfall)
Family Alois (father) · Klara (mother) · Alois (half-brother) · Angela (half-sister) · Gustav (brother) · Ida (sister)
· Otto (brother) · Edmund (brother) · Paula (sister)
LADY DIANA
(7 gags)
1)
What did the coroner sing as he put Princess Diana and Dodi in their body bags? Zip-di-de-Dodi, Zip-di-de-Di!"
2)
St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates of heaven and say's, "You were a good woman. I'm giving
you a nice halo!"
Mother Theresa is walking around Heaven when she sees Princess Di, and the Princess has a much bigger
halo.
Mother Theresa goes back to St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, I spent most of my adult life helping the poor and sickly.
Princess Diana did no where near the amount of charitable work I did. Why does she have a bigger halo?"
"That's not a halo,"
St. Peter replied, "Its a steering wheel!"
3)
Lady Di is welcomed at the pearly gates by St. Peter.
Peter asks, "Oh dear, what happened to you?"
"I
died in a car crash," Lady Diana replied, "But wait until you see my friend, he looks a lot worse!"
Half an hour later
Dodi shows up and St. Peter says, "My God, you look terrible!"
Dodi replied, "This is nothing, wait until you see my driver!"
Half
an hour later some bones and flesh move slowly towards the Pearly Gates and St. Peter says, "So you're the driver then?"
"No,
I am Mother Theresa!"
4)
What does Princess Diana and Windows 98 have in common?
They are both very expensive to keep and
when you finally think you have them sorted out they have a fatal crash!
5)
Why did Princess Diana always act like a baby?
Because she was always sucking on a Dodi!
6)
What does DIANA stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident!
7)
What does Princess Diana and the Queen mother have in common?
They both died just short of 102!
No, I'm not "one of them" but I think this discussion thread is funny, if not
the jokes themselves! Where does comedy end
? Lenny Bruce once said "Comedy Is Tragedy Plus Time". Part of the idea behind
this site is satire of the media industry. I think this is in interesting read, because it asks fundemental questions about
human morality, freedom of the arts, and social acceptability. Personally, as a punk rocker, I feel it's important for
the media persue a socially challenging agenda. Use it or lose it as is often the case with free speech
British kid with a wonky eye, lost in Portugal
Keydeck
Jun 1 2007, 11:24 pm
QUOTE (Komland @ Jun 1 2007, 10:50 pm)  Whenever anyone shows some sensitivity or writes in a touching/humane way, you instantly
come crashing in and patronise them. If the same person who shows some sensitivity
or writes in a touching/humane way has a history of ignorant and obnoxious remarks then I have no qualms in expressing my
opinion on the subject and/or on that individual. I understand of course, as someone who only joined the community tonight,
that you would be unaware of any such history and can therefore understand why my comment might seem off colour to you. That
said, you mention that I 'always' behave in a certain manner. Have you been browsing on the sidelines for quite some time
before joining up or are you masking your identity through the use of an alternate ID? You will perhaps notice that
I have not commented on the content of the thread itself. Nor did I comment in any way on any of the other posters who objected
to it, just the one. As to your more general comments regarding my posts and those "of my like" I will say this; having
been involved with this site pretty much since it's inception I have seen a great many things here. On more occasions that
I care to remember I have seen posters showing up, posting a sad story of some sort and ultimately being exposed as a current
member using an alternate ID for the purposes of their own satisfaction at duping others. That or some new sign-up who's sole
intent is to lead people on and/or cause disruption within the TT community. Of course there have also been a great many true
and touching tales, the originators of which have, for their own reasons, decided to open their souls and spread their lives
out in front of the internet at large. Many of these have received good help from the members of this site and quite often
from myself and those "of my like". Call me cynical or embittered, to use your word, but I have very little belief in anything
that I read on an internet forum. Experience has forced me to be sceptical of everything on this or any other discussion forum
until I have satisfied myself that it is genuine. So long as I am not contravening the site guidelines and so long
as I stay true to my own moral compass I shall continue to say what I think. I do exactly the same in real life as I do on
here.
crite
Jun 1 2007, 11:35 pm
Of course you can suggest it Jeremy, doesn't mean everyone agrees with you. Multiple pages of differing
opinions would imply they wouldn't.
Schotte
Jun 1 2007, 11:44 pm
QUOTE (Keydeck @ Jun 2 2007, 12:24 am) If the same person who shows some sensitivity or writes in a touching/humane way has a history
of ignorant and obnoxious remarks then I have no qualms in expressing my opinion on the subject and/or on that individual.
I understand of course, as someone who only joined the community tonight, that you would be unaware of any such history and
can therefore understand why my comment might seem off colour to you. HAHA! brilliant your
maturity never ceases to amaze me keydeck. bit of a life time grudge sort are you? quite pathetic. i cant remember
the last time i tried to wind anyone up on this site. how long has passed since i posted on this regularly? my past remarks
may be ignorant, obnoxious and worse, but to tie in my previous behaviour with how i react on this topic is quite unnecessary
and not clever or needed. i think you could do better by letting bygones be bygones, its utterly pathetic, though standard
of your behaviour, to make a comparison in this instance. in the same regard i could say the same of your past behaviour,
but i'm content in knowing i'm a lot better than that and above it. you would do well to follow suit and avoid the snide bitchy
remarks, why you feel the need to slag me off is beyond me, grow up!
jeremy
Jun 1 2007, 11:44 pm
QUOTE (Keydeck @ Jun 2 2007, 12:24 am) As to your more general comments regarding my posts and those "of my like" I will say this;
having been involved with this site pretty much since it's inception I have seen a great many things here. ... Of course there
have also been a great many true and touching tales, the originators of which have, for their own reasons, decided to open
their souls and spread their lives out in front of the internet at large. Many of these have received good help from the members
of this site and quite often from myself and those "of my like". Call me cynical or embittered, to use your word, but I have
very little belief in anything that I read on an internet forum. Experience has forced me to be sceptical of everything on
this or any other discussion forum until I have satisfied myself that it is genuine. One
of the most sensible things you've ever said Mr Deck. I also count myself like you among the TT oldies brigade. Nope
I was one of the very first to use the Internet to find jobs abroad and find friends. I landed a job in the Gulf in a small
University through the internet. I went to the States to meet an internet penpal. Not all of my internet adventures came out
good. But sod it I have a wealth of funny stories to tell the kids later and to those offline. Mind you I went
to Mongolia through an internet advert in 2000 and met my wife so there you go.
Small Town Boy
Jun 1 2007, 11:50 pm
QUOTE (Schotte @ Jun 2 2007, 12:44 am) i cant remember the last time i tried to wind anyone up on this site. Let
me jog your memory: it was the last time you posted before tonight. I don't think you have made a single useful contribution
to Toytown in your entire time as a member, so for you to now swan in and take the moral high ground is pretty pathetic. The
title of the thread is "Madeleine McCann jokes"; it's clear what the thread contains so if you're likely to be offended then
don't click. Personally, I find it all a welcome relief from the ludicrously over-the-top coverage of the British tabloid
press. You don't have to agree, but to suddenly pretend to be some moral champion is just too much for some people to take
seriously.
Schotte
Jun 1 2007, 11:56 pm
QUOTE (Small Town Boy @ Jun 2 2007, 12:50 am) I don't think you have made a single useful contribution to Toytown in your entire time
as a member i contribute as and when i can, when i know something someone might not
that might make life easier in germany. it is however the nature of this beast that a number of members have more german experience
than myself and are online a lot more than me and have therefore answered a long time before i even spot the question. sorry,
i didnt know it was a competition and i didnt know that registering my disgust at some horrid jokes ticked people off so much.
goodnight.
Komland
Jun 2 2007, 12:17 am
Mariposa, since you've blocked me, I'll have to post here. You've repeatedly pm-ed me saying
you find this funny-
QUOTE
There once was a young girl called Maddie
She had such an irresponsible daddy
Snatched
from her bed
She's probably dead
Raped by a Portuguese baddy For all our benefit
- how exactly is this funny?
Mariposa
Jun 2 2007, 12:18 am
Oh for Christ's sake, drop it.
Komland
Jun 2 2007, 12:18 am
I will, as soon as you point out which bit is funny.
iain
Jun 2 2007, 12:55 am
If a joke has to be explained then it's not worth explaining. Leave the poor person alone. She got
it you didn't. Your panties are in a knot go out and take a breath of fresh air and relax.
Diane
Jun 2 2007, 1:15 am
QUOTE (Komland @ Jun 1 2007, 11:21 pm) It defies belief that the admin. of this site should start such a thread.
QUOTE (Schotte @ Jun 1 2007, 11:47 pm) this website has gone some way down the toilet with keeping a thread like this. Agree,
I'd like to see if certain people find this subject still funny when a similar tragedy happens to their own kids or some other
relative, because you never know...
bluedave
Jun 2 2007, 1:24 am
Have resisted posting on this thread up to now but here goes . . . , I haven't read the thread as i
recognise cnuts where they lie.  Firstly i'm astonished that Ed Bob started it and he has sunk much much lower in my estimation which will trouble
him not at all i know. Secondly, if anyone thinks that kidnap of a child and her possible murder is funny then frankly
you are a sick twat and need your balls/tits nailed to the noticeboard outside whatever Town Hall you happen to live near
with a big sign next to you stating your beliefs !! I wish the pox and more on all of you that take delight in this
horrendous situation. 
FuzzyTony
Jun 2 2007, 1:40 am
Well it wouldn't surprise me the least if Felicity Nannies child care and Sticky Fingers playcenter
were to cancel their advertising contracts with Toytown.
Groucho
Jun 2 2007, 1:49 am
How is "sticky fingers" a decent name for a kindergarten? sick I tell thee!
Ruthie
Jun 2 2007, 7:37 am
Could it be that Editor Bob posted those jokes in order to spark exactly this discussion?
FuzzyTony
Jun 2 2007, 7:45 am
I was thinking the same thing a short while ago. Maybe there's an ulterior motive for starting this
topic. 
Mariposa
Jun 2 2007, 8:00 am
QUOTE (bluedave @ Jun 2 2007, 2:24 am) I wish the pox and more on all of you that take delight in this horrendous situation. The
ironic thing is that this doesn't make you any better than any of the persons who posted on this topic, I actually think it
makes you worse. No one is saying they find funny what happened or might have happened to this girl.
Silly Point
Jun 2 2007, 8:33 am
I have no problem with 'gallows humour' or 'black jokes', but they must satisfy one important criterion:
they must be funny, otherwise they are no longer sick jokes, but just sick. The limerick may be a comic form of rhyme, but
inserting text about a girl being dead and raped into limerick form does not automatically make it a joke. in fact I fail
to detect an iota of wit in it. You would need a peculiar sense of humour indeed to find it remotely amusing and I fully understand
those who are offended by it.
Allershausen
Jun 2 2007, 8:35 am
QUOTE (dusie @ Jun 1 2007, 11:30 pm) and here, on a British site - Since
when has Toytown been a British site? There's an awful lot of posters who don't come from Britain on here. Personally
I don't find the jokes very funny, but it is pretty normal for people to make jokes about bad things and the title of the
thread makes it pretty clear what it's about.
Fallen Angel
Jun 2 2007, 8:39 am
QUOTE (Editor Bob @ May 30 2007, 4:51 pm) There once was a young girl called Maddie
She had such an irresponsible daddy
Snatched
from her bed
She's probably dead
Raped by a Portuguese baddy This is sad. I
can't understand what makes people feel the need to share "humor" like this. It's one thing to laugh to yourself about a child
being raped and murdered, but share it with the rest of us... mmm. It's in poor form.
exactly Allershausen, people can read the title and choose not to read if they find it offensive.
I
find it so funny that people that have often made a joke at the expense at someone else are getting so worked up about this
and trying to take the moral ground. Like nobody has ever told an off colour joke?
Fallen Angel
Jun 2 2007, 8:44 am
Yeah, I know what you're saying Carm. I guess to me the difference with this was that it's a child.
And I guess the idea of a child being abused and killed just bothers me a lot more than many of the other topics.
garibaldi
Jun 2 2007, 8:50 am
QUOTE (Schotte @ Jun 1 2007, 11:47 pm) this website has gone some way down the toilet with keeping a thread like this. Did
your 20!!! posts on penis size help? 
Will2Write
Jun 2 2007, 9:00 am
I just don't understand this humour in the slightest. Maybe I am mixing with the wrong (or should I
say 'right') crowd, but these types of senseless jokes disappeared from my social circle when I left school. My German colleagues
can't believe the owner of this site actually started this thread... they all had a good laugh at the stupidity of that.
garibaldi
Jun 2 2007, 9:07 am
Will2Write Humour:
QUOTE (Will2Write @ May 31 2007, 11:10 am) Hi Mira,
I can help you with your English, but I am really only talkative in bed... you
know, that period after sex but before sleep.
PM me and I will be glad to assist you. Hmmmmmm...
Diane
Jun 2 2007, 9:09 am
@Garibaldi: To me that just sounds like a silly/cheeky joke that isn't offending anyone.
maybe the person that started that thread didn't want that kind of response. Its all about perspective
BattalionBoy
Jun 2 2007, 9:40 am
QUOTE (garibaldi @ Jun 2 2007, 10:07 am) I can help you with your English, but I am really only talkative in bed... you know, that
period after sex but before sleep. I guess he cannot talk during sex as it doesn't
last that long.
garibaldi
Jun 2 2007, 9:49 am
Good point that!
Eleanor Rigby
Jun 2 2007, 9:58 am
The jokes may not be that funny but this thread is hilarious!
Ruthie's about the only one who's
on the ball here.
BadDoggie
Jun 2 2007, 10:53 am
ATTENTION STUPID PEOPLE:When a thread is entitled "Madeleine McCann jokes", it's probably
not "Jokes Told by a 4-Year-Old Child Shortly Before her Kidnapping". If you don't want to see sick jokes, DON'T CLICK
ON THE THREAD. Dumbasses, every one of you. Or hypocrites. Or both.
QUOTE (Will2Write @ Jun 1 2007, 5:22 pm) It lowers my opinion of the posters tremendously. Not
nearly as low as our opinion of someone who is "offended" by sick jokes but nevertheless, clicks on the thread and then feels
compelled to then post his whinge about it. Who the fuck are you, anyway?
QUOTE (dusie @ Jun 1 2007, 11:30 pm) Good Grief! Words almost fail me – but, only almost! Pity.
We could've done with fewer words from you. Making the incredibly ignorant claim that only perverts and pedos would find such
jokes fun shows how incredibly ignorant and clueless you are. You grow up. Your rights are being destroyed
in your home country but you're satisfied to have the tabloids spoon-feed you bullshit stories about one missing child. THAT'S
what's truly disgusting. This thread has been a godsend: more than a dozen fuckwits have outed themselves already. Now
to get this thread back on track: What's
the difference between Madeleine McCann and Pope John Paul II?
The Pope died a virgin.woof.
bluedave
Jun 2 2007, 10:57 am
Just a simple retort BD, go fuck yourself ! Humour has to have one simple ingredient, it has to be
funny ! Kidnap of a child lacks that ingredient. 
biffa bacon
Jun 2 2007, 11:03 am
Some of these 'jokes' are about as funny as face cancer.
Fair enough, take the piss out of the
parents or the Portuguese police but jokes about a 4 year old being raped are just wrong.
Jenny L
Jun 2 2007, 11:04 am
Well, apparently raping children is hilarious. If you can't find the humor in that, then obviously
you're a prude.
Marshbot
Jun 2 2007, 11:26 am
Would the jokes be more or less sick if the girl was only 3?
Is it OK to make joke about horrible
tragedies befalling 12 year olds? What about 27?
Which jokes about injury/death/rape/terrorism/whatever do you think don't
offend anyones senses?
Get off your high horses - people will always make light of the worst things in our existence.
You don't have to laugh... you can carry on thinking people actually find what happened to her comedic if you want. *insert
retard noise*.
What about all the other children who are raped and molested who aren't called Madeline and who aren't
front page news? One reason there is humour here is because of the circus that has been made about Madeline when we know very
well there are children being abused elsewhere all the time. It makes some of us feel like hypocrits to stress about this
one little child-stranger when there are many, many others who could use some of this attention.
It doesn't mean it's
not tragic or horrible, or that we think it's actually ha-ha funny... it's just one of those weird moments where the
masses suddenly judge a certain life as more worthy of worry than others and to be honest some of these jokes might be helpful
for bringing people back to earth.
Do all the parents of missing children get a free flight on a private jet to see the
Pople then? (The one man who is possibly as high as you can go when it comes to lack of morals and covering up of other peoples
child-abuse stories.) I'm sorry, but this is hilariously crazy and laugh-out-loud-depressing.
It only adds another
dark twist to it when people get uppity about jokes yet keep strangely and serenely silent when they see other lower-profile
cases of missing/abused children - we are a sad species. Thanks for making this thread even sicker and funnier with your holier
than thou attitudes.
Personally I'd feel more horrified with myself for not being able to see the chilling humour
in the way people have reacted to this one case but whatever, that's me - if you don't get it then you don't get it. Move
along and leave us to make sense of this world in our own ways, stop judging people for something that doesn't actually affect
you.
You saw the title and you still came along read the thread anyway. You're exactly the same as everyone else who
stopped by, except that you think more highly of yourself.
Small Town Boy
Jun 2 2007, 11:31 am
This is just the inevitable backlash against the tabloid sensationalism surrounding this case. The
parents ticked the "maximum publicity" box and they therefore have to accept that not all the resulting feedback will be positive.
Sure, the kidnapping, rape and murder of a young child is disgusting, but to suggest that it is a greater tragedy than the
millions of Africans condemned to death by AIDS as a result of the Church's abstinence programme, or the hundreds of millions
who will lose their homes as sea levels rise, or the countless thousands murdered each year by rapists, drunk drivers or power-crazed
dictators is loony. Of course I find the kid's kidnapping despicable, but in my opinion the scum on Fleet Street who conduct
a trial-by-media on innocent men, ruining their lives as a result, aren't a great deal better. Humour is the only place left
to turn to when faced with this sickening barrage of publicity. Face it, if the parents and kid had all been ugly, we'd never
even have heard the name.
Katrina
Jun 2 2007, 11:36 am
People react to not great things in life in many different ways. Remember when Princess Diana died?
Within a fortnight, the interweb was flooded with Diana jpegs and somewhat off-colour jibes. Taste is an individual thing,
somethings make me laugh which other people would find silly. Or immature. Or indeed both. But it is still my taste. For
me, the disappearance of Madeleine is not terribly amusing. Possibly dead kids, even ugly ones, usually aren't fun. The
media circus around the case is. Hence my earlier posting:
QUOTE (Katrina @ May 30 2007, 7:35 pm) Sometimes there are events where only b3ta will say what others only dare to fleetingly consider. This is such a time (but I still hope they find her, but I don't believe
this bloody circus will help). Maybe the timing was wrong, perhaps the time for such
jokes isn't here yet, it may never be here for many of you. But don't forget, TT is a commercial site, the more controversy,
the higher the click-rate, the more advertisers get seen and if certain advertisers choose to move elsewhere, that's their
choice on an open market. Other advertisers will replace them if necessary, the haters will post, the jokers will retaliate
and that click-rate will go up. Wax on, wax off. So "Disgusted of Düsseldorf" et al, you might not like it, but someone
else does. That's the beauty of choice, it works in more than one direction. This needs a pic. 
Carm
Jun 2 2007, 11:36 am
nice post Marshbot
Katrina
Jun 2 2007, 11:41 am
The Onion got it so well back in 1997.
QUOTE
Ugly Girl Killed
Nation Unshaken By Not-So-Tragic Death
CASPER, WY—The people
of America remained unmoved Monday as the sparse, barely attended funeral procession of Edith Pelphrey made its way to Pinelawn
Cemetery in downtown Casper.
The recent murder of clumsy, unattractive, 6-year-old Edith Pelphrey, pictured above in
happier times, has not sent shockwaves of grief and despair rippling through the nation.
Edith, a homely six-year-old with
thick glasses and a decidedly non-winning smile, was laid to rest largely as she had lived—unnoticed by the general
population.
Discovered strangled with a length of nylon cord on Jan. 4, reported to the police Jan. 15, and finally
investigated two days ago, the story of unattractive little Edith and her savage killing has failed to tug at America's heartstrings.
To
the few who knew her, Edith was an unattractive, awkward little girl who failed to stand out among her first-grade classmates
at Jefferson Elementary School. And it is this lack of social grace, more than anything, that makes her all-too-brief life—and
its all-too-brief ending—all the more not-compelling and non-poignant in the eyes of a city and a nation.
BadDoggie
Jun 2 2007, 12:02 pm
Thank you Marshbot and STB for expressing what I was in too much of a hurry to get into, namely the
psychology of humour (as well as the hypocrisy of those clicking on the thread to see what's in there and somehow feeling
morally superior to others in it). People use humour for general fun but also to get over horrible situations. Everyone's
heard the phrase, "I had to laugh or I would've cried." It wasn't two hours after the Challenger Space Shuttle blew up that
the first jokes were making the rounds, and this was when the Intartubes were only available to a lucky few of us who attended
certain participatory universities and could read everything posted on ARPAnet that day inside an hour. Did we want
the Shuttle to blow up? Fuck no. That it could was inconceivable. Humour helps get people past the most atrocious situations. It's
the parents along with certain media which decided to go for full-force exposure. While I don't blame the parents for wanting
to do everything possible to find their kid, I do blame the media for coddling them and blowing this way out of proportion.
Am I happy that a little kid may be dead? No, but there are lots of other kids dying every day here in the Western world.
Perspective. They've gone for maximum effect and jokes being made is a necessary by-product of that. Black humour has
been a part of the English-speaking world since the beginning of the language. The passion play "Mankind" makes members of
the audience sin before the actual character does (there's audience participation in the play). It's our heritage and it's
our psychology. We laugh at those things which amuse us and we laugh at those things which horrify us. But it's not just us;
Holocaust survivors, knowing they were going to die, used humour and say that it's what kept them from committing suicide.
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