Imagine a world which consisted of just men and biscuit. People eat biscuit. They shit biscuit. They have the freedom to get fat by eating biscuit. The only law that this citizens of this world had to obey is that they had to eat someone elses biscuit rather than their own.

Eventually, some people got too lazy to eat the biscuit of others and sat in squats , up to their wastes in their own biscuit. Others were bored with the taste of biscuit belonging to others, so thoughtfully picked at their bottoms and munched.

Passing through this pitiful land was the former queen of Narnia , a descendent of CS Lewis , who had bored the population to eternal sleep at a royal karaeoke because the Mariah meets Craig From Bros thang was sadly not Narnia Class. Along with her friend, the bastard son of Lewis Carroll and Alice, who had just crawlled out of a rabbit hole.

They had an idea. And started cleaning out the squalid biscuit from the squats of the biscuit men and huzzing it frantically down the rabbit hole.

Finally, the young Mr Carroll became anxious about the possibility of spending eternity with a lass who might be quite fit but had a friend called Simon and had soothed all of Narnia to the deathfull bliss of sleep.

So he jumped through the rabbit hole. And he fell to Essex, where gold coins fell down apon him. So he built a big house , stocked it with booze and drugs, and partied so till everyone fell to sleep. 

 And they woke up in biscuit land. Some jumped back down the rabbit hole, chased by a Lion called Aslan , who had woken up after a heavy session at the pub, the real king of Narnia, pissed off that the lion impersonator who had just performed was actually a barmaid in drag, and had stolen his idenity and kingdom.

The others stayed behind and ate biscuit, as the biscuit tasted awfully nice.

 Meanwhile, on earth things got silly , as Mr Carroll had realised that his fortune was very silly money, so the money had to do silly things.

So it bought luxury cars. Then gutted them and fitted rollbars. And raced them around the house, which pissed the neighbours off somewhat rotten.

Carroll lent a few quid to his sister who bought a false identity, believed to be the deceased daughter of Walter Mitty's cousin, Sir Humphrey Appleby, and stood for parliament. Because silly money had bought the seat, it was lost to another reality TV star.

The only 3 men who ever really existed was God , the Devil and their Lawyer. Presumably one was actually a women too, women being formally admitted to the Holy Trinity as a solution to the events in biscuitland.

 Pictured below are Andrew Wainwright and his beloved wife Katherine. Anyone who's seen Bruce Almighty , a film starring Jim Carrey (think of Carroll & Carey - C & C music factory , mel & kim etc) will know that Bruce Nolan wanted to be an Anchorman, named after Walter Cronkite , which apparently in Dutch means "anchor man". But there's another meaning of anchor too. That's a monk or a nun who's chosen to live in the community rather than in a religious order. Andy and Katie are a married couple, yes- we are intimate too, who have chosen to forsake luxury and respectability to give our services to the world of love between boys and girls.... How sweet is that :)